Is mapo tofu supposed to be very spicy?
It can be, but you are in charge. Start with less chili crisp or chili oil, then add heat at the end. Doubanjiang heat and salt can vary by brand, so taste your sauce before you crank it up.
What if I cannot find doubanjiang?
It is the soul of the dish, but here are your best "good enough" options.
Best approximation (closest vibe): use 1 1/2 tablespoons doenjang (Korean soybean paste) plus 1 tablespoon gochujang (for chili) and a pinch of chili flakes.
Emergency pantry hack (tasty, not traditional): 2 tablespoons gochujang plus 1 teaspoon miso and an extra pinch of chili flakes. Different flavor, still delicious.
Do I have to use Sichuan peppercorns?
They are what give mapo tofu its signature tingle. If you skip them, you will still have a spicy tofu dish, but it will not have that citrusy, numbing sparkle. If you are sensitive, use half the amount.
Only have whole peppercorns? Toast them in a dry pan for 1 to 2 minutes until fragrant, cool, then grind (spice grinder or mortar and pestle). Sift out any gritty husks if you want it extra smooth.
What tofu is best?
Soft tofu is the most classic choice and holds together well with a gentle hand. Silken tofu is extra smooth and luxurious, but it is more delicate. If you are nervous about breakage, use medium tofu. It is sturdier and still tender.
How do I keep tofu from falling apart?
Cut it into larger cubes, simmer gently, and stir by nudging the sauce around the tofu instead of aggressively mixing. A wide skillet helps.